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Ask Hawkeye
aka Hawkeye's Advice Column

You know me as the World's Greatest Marksman,
but now I'm also the World's Greatest Advice Columnist!

Someone had the great idea that I should start an
advice column. So here I am ready to give all of
you advice. So just ask away!

[[This is a sub blog from my Clint Barton RP account.
I am not Hawkeye, although I do occasionally share
his opinions.]]

aimeebarton asked Hawkeye: How do I make friends? I think I come on a little strong...

Well, you make friends a few ways.

  1. Don’t use them for your own means and personal gain.
  2. Be polite. Ask how their day was. Give them a compliment.
  3. Volunteer simple information, like a hobby.
  4. Smile.
  5. Smile.
  6. Smile.
  7. Don’t be Tony Stark.

I mean, that’s just to start.


posted 3 months ago · 1 notes ·
aimeebarton asked Hawkeye: If this an advice column. You suck at giving it.

You didn’t really ask a question I could give advice on.


posted 3 months ago·
aimeebarton asked Hawkeye: Hi Clint. My name is Aimee Coulson. I am Aimee Barton on a good day, because I have a thing for the Hawkeye. Anyways, will you be my friend? Everyone seems to hate my soul...

Um. What?


posted 3 months ago·
Anonymous asked Hawkeye: Why are you not in love with me yet, Barton?

…Because you have no face, maybe?


posted 3 months ago·
miss-romanov asked Hawkeye: I just dropped by to say hello and that Fury has been looking for you. Where have you been Barton?

I’ve been…around? I’m running an advice column, see!


posted 10 months ago·
Anonymous asked Hawkeye: You're NOT in love with Hulk/Bruce Banner or any Guy, are you?

Why would it matter if I was? Currently I’m not in love. Maybe one day…

-Hawkeye


posted 11 months ago·
Anonymous asked Hawkeye: Will you have my babies?

…no. I’m physiologically incapable of having your babies, seeing as I am, in fact, male. 


posted 12 months ago · 2 notes ·
Anonymous asked Hawkeye: John Stewart dissed you!!!! Should I send him a long hate note or just kill him?

WHAT? WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? WHAT KIND OF MORON DISSES ME, THE MOST AWESOME OF AVENGERS?

He sounds like a moron.

But you probably shouldn’t kill him.

But for sure send the hate. Hate away! Start a hate campaign! GOGOGO! FLY, MY MINIONS, FLY!

-Hawkeye


posted 1 year ago · 1 notes ·
Anonymous asked Hawkeye: Dude, your sexy. How do I convince others how sexy you are?

Dude, I dunno. If they can’t tell by themselves, they’re a little hopeless, aren’t they? I mean. I’m sexy.

-Hawkeye


posted 1 year ago·
Sometimes you just need to move on, man. Bobbi and I tried to make it work. A few times. We really really did. But we just couldn’t. There were some things that our relationship could never get past. And Bobbi and I have tried reconciling. But it only made us realize why we shouldn’t be together. So we’re not. I’m trying to move on because I want to at least try to be happy. And you can’t really fault me for that. …is any of this really any of your business, man? -Hawkeye

Sometimes you just need to move on, man. Bobbi and I tried to make it work. A few times. We really really did. But we just couldn’t. There were some things that our relationship could never get past. And Bobbi and I have tried reconciling. But it only made us realize why we shouldn’t be together. So we’re not.

I’m trying to move on because I want to at least try to be happy. And you can’t really fault me for that.

…is any of this really any of your business, man?

-Hawkeye


posted 1 year ago·